To Be or Not to Be

David Foster Wallace starts his short story "Good Old Neon" with, "My whole life I've been a fraud. I'm not exaggerating. Pretty much all I've ever done all the time is try to create a certain impression of me in other people. Mostly to be liked or admired. It's a little more complicated than that, maybe. But when you come right down to it it's to be liked, loved. Admired, approved of, applauded, whatever. You get the idea."

Sadly or just honestly, I would have to say that this has also been an accurate description of at least part of my life. But could one not say that this describes most people's lives. Our basic instinct is to be liked, loved, cared about.

Within recent years, it seems that I have grown less preoccupied with what impression others have of me. At least that is the self-talk that I have engaged in. Maybe it's my way of dealing with the fact that as I grow older I care even more about other's thoughts of me. It is indeed more complicated. Why else would my first post of this blog wonder if anyone would ever remember who I am or what I say.

As Walt Whitman said, "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes." ("Song of Myself")