Yes. I am old enough to remember 8 track tapes. Never you mind how old I am. Like I haven't told you in the side bar. But that is not the purpose of this entry.
Music has always been a big part of my life. Bigger than I thought or remembered. I remember getting a small record player and a set of Disney records both of which I wore out. I then getting my first stereo and portable stereo. As long as I can remember, there was usually music going.
There were those songs, either records or tapes, that I would play over and over and over and over... well you get the picture. Some of them were "Snoopy vs. the Red Baron" and other funny songs, a Carpenters album, Elton John and "One Tin Soldier". This songs represented a good time in my life. Not that there weren't problems, but the music made the times easier.
Now I'm finding I'm going back and trying to find those days. Less stress. Less conflict. Less crap. Since we haven't perfected time travel yet and I really don't want to end up in the Jurassic period, I'm using the music to return me to that time. To instill some peace in the chaos of today.
Thanks to i-tunes, I have been able to find some of those lost songs. Now if I could only get things (things being money) together enough to buy the i-pod I want.
Oh well, I listen on the computer while I write and soon I will be able to take the peace of mind with me soon...I hope. Contribution will be accepted...chuckle chuckle.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Of Book and Covers
I have always heard the saying "You can't judge a book by it's cover." or something along that lines. I have been a proponent of that thinking for a long time, both literally and figuratively.
Literally because I love to read. I am constantly scanning the selves looking for books. If the books are situated with their spines out, I look for a name that catches my eye. But if you notice, publishers have gotten smart and put small graphics of the cover art on the spine or printed the cover so the graphic art wraps around the book, drawing the potential buyer in. If the book is displayed with cover facing out, the graphic is always the first thing I look at. I am a very visual person so if there is a picture, I will look at it first...thus my fascination with National Geographic, television, movies, and pictures...but I digress.
Now I am ashamed to admit that if the cover doesn't appeal to me, I probably won't even pick up the book and read the synopsis or open it and read a page or two. I will sweep on by to the next book. I also readily admit that if the cover is to clichey (don't think that's really a word), such as a romance with the "bodice ripper" graphic of the hunky man and the swooning woman I won't be caught dead making that purchase (well, not usually) even though it may be a well written story.
The question, you may ask, is why would that even bother me. Well in the figurative application I have always thought I didn't do that, meaning judge a book by it's cover, because it has happened so often to me.
You see, I have always been overweight, quiet (most of the time), and a loner. So many people have instantaneously judged me and have not taken the time to get to know me or move past what they see on the surface. The outside graphic doesn't appeal to them, so they don't even read a couple of pages to see if it really is a good book. See where I'm going here. I still struggle with the effects of this.
I struggle every day to remind myself that I am more than many people think I am and in the converse I struggle to think that I am what people see in me...people who have taken the time and/or energy to get to know me. But the I try to remind myself not to make the same mistake with other people that has been made with me.
I sometimes don't know how often I fail at not judging people by what they look like, what they have done, who they have been until I am given a wake up call. One such event is the impetus for this post.
The other night I was working on my manuscript and I had the television on for background noise. I had flipped around and landed on "Inside the Actors Studio". I like this show generally so I just left it, although I wasn't very interested in the night's featured actor. Mark Wahlberg. My first reaction when I heard him introduced was MarkieMark, rapper, bad ass, yada yada yada and I proceeded to tune out...or at least try to.
Soon I stopped trying to write/type and just watched the television. I couldn't help but feel that I was listening to one of the most honest and real interviews that I had ever seen given by an actor. This was a man who had lived his life the only way he knew how. Did things that he seriously regrets but doesn't deny responsibility for. A man who is working to be a better person today.
I finished that television program and thought to myself that I had done what I didn't want people to do to me. I had judged a person by what I had seen only looking at him years ago and not who he was now. My perception of him wasn't based on who he is now. I was wrong.
Mark Wahlberg is a man I would like to know, not because he is a celebrity or rich, but because I believe he is a truly good person in the here and now, where it matters. I will probably never get to know or even meet him, but knowing there are people like him, who remind me daily that you shouldn't judge books or people by their covers, makes me a better person.
Literally because I love to read. I am constantly scanning the selves looking for books. If the books are situated with their spines out, I look for a name that catches my eye. But if you notice, publishers have gotten smart and put small graphics of the cover art on the spine or printed the cover so the graphic art wraps around the book, drawing the potential buyer in. If the book is displayed with cover facing out, the graphic is always the first thing I look at. I am a very visual person so if there is a picture, I will look at it first...thus my fascination with National Geographic, television, movies, and pictures...but I digress.
Now I am ashamed to admit that if the cover doesn't appeal to me, I probably won't even pick up the book and read the synopsis or open it and read a page or two. I will sweep on by to the next book. I also readily admit that if the cover is to clichey (don't think that's really a word), such as a romance with the "bodice ripper" graphic of the hunky man and the swooning woman I won't be caught dead making that purchase (well, not usually) even though it may be a well written story.
The question, you may ask, is why would that even bother me. Well in the figurative application I have always thought I didn't do that, meaning judge a book by it's cover, because it has happened so often to me.
You see, I have always been overweight, quiet (most of the time), and a loner. So many people have instantaneously judged me and have not taken the time to get to know me or move past what they see on the surface. The outside graphic doesn't appeal to them, so they don't even read a couple of pages to see if it really is a good book. See where I'm going here. I still struggle with the effects of this.
I struggle every day to remind myself that I am more than many people think I am and in the converse I struggle to think that I am what people see in me...people who have taken the time and/or energy to get to know me. But the I try to remind myself not to make the same mistake with other people that has been made with me.
I sometimes don't know how often I fail at not judging people by what they look like, what they have done, who they have been until I am given a wake up call. One such event is the impetus for this post.
The other night I was working on my manuscript and I had the television on for background noise. I had flipped around and landed on "Inside the Actors Studio". I like this show generally so I just left it, although I wasn't very interested in the night's featured actor. Mark Wahlberg. My first reaction when I heard him introduced was MarkieMark, rapper, bad ass, yada yada yada and I proceeded to tune out...or at least try to.
Soon I stopped trying to write/type and just watched the television. I couldn't help but feel that I was listening to one of the most honest and real interviews that I had ever seen given by an actor. This was a man who had lived his life the only way he knew how. Did things that he seriously regrets but doesn't deny responsibility for. A man who is working to be a better person today.
I finished that television program and thought to myself that I had done what I didn't want people to do to me. I had judged a person by what I had seen only looking at him years ago and not who he was now. My perception of him wasn't based on who he is now. I was wrong.
Mark Wahlberg is a man I would like to know, not because he is a celebrity or rich, but because I believe he is a truly good person in the here and now, where it matters. I will probably never get to know or even meet him, but knowing there are people like him, who remind me daily that you shouldn't judge books or people by their covers, makes me a better person.
Happy Birthday H
Happy birthday H. Thank you for the job you do and the kind, wonderful person you are.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Rant away
While I steel myself for a new round of religious persecution, I would like to let it be known that I do believe in God. And I believe in sin. I also believe that everyone sins and that all sins are equal no matter what they are, so I'm no better or worse than any other person. I also believe that each person is responsible to set there own sin right with God, no one else can do that.
Back to the religious persecution thing. When I say this, I am not referring to a religious group being persecuted. I am talking about religion persecuting someone or something else. Of course I'm talking about the inevitable protest and boycotts that will be instituted against the Disney Company because of the recent decision to allow homosexual couples participate in the Disney Wedding program.
Most people who know me, know that I'm not one to be dissuaded from something if I really want it. So any protest or call for boycott is not likely to change any of my travel plans. I still plan on going to Disneyworld this fall regardless. My personal mental health is more important to me at this point and Disneyworld makes me happy.
My problem is that I don't think that religious groups really think about the effect that this protest have on the not-religious people (the so-called lost people they are looking to save) or even some of there own, like me. It's kinda like the group from Kansas who is protesting at funerals of soldiers, ranting that this is the price of the U.S. inequity. This type of idiotic behavior simply turns people off and drives them away.
So when these groups announce their next boycott of all things Disney because a gay couple can have a committment ceremony (remember, gay marriage is still not legal like straight marriage) in a wedding pavilion instead of a conference room as before, I challenge them to think about what they are doing. Are they showing love and caring for all people who have sinned just as they have? Are they demostrating the forgiveness that God provided to all of us?
Finally. are they really, really boycotting Disney. Disney is a very large corporation. If you have time to track down everything that Disney is involved in to make sure you have no contact with them because of their position on homosexuals, you probably don't have time to read your Bible.
This is just my opinion... take it or leave it.
Back to the religious persecution thing. When I say this, I am not referring to a religious group being persecuted. I am talking about religion persecuting someone or something else. Of course I'm talking about the inevitable protest and boycotts that will be instituted against the Disney Company because of the recent decision to allow homosexual couples participate in the Disney Wedding program.
Most people who know me, know that I'm not one to be dissuaded from something if I really want it. So any protest or call for boycott is not likely to change any of my travel plans. I still plan on going to Disneyworld this fall regardless. My personal mental health is more important to me at this point and Disneyworld makes me happy.
My problem is that I don't think that religious groups really think about the effect that this protest have on the not-religious people (the so-called lost people they are looking to save) or even some of there own, like me. It's kinda like the group from Kansas who is protesting at funerals of soldiers, ranting that this is the price of the U.S. inequity. This type of idiotic behavior simply turns people off and drives them away.
So when these groups announce their next boycott of all things Disney because a gay couple can have a committment ceremony (remember, gay marriage is still not legal like straight marriage) in a wedding pavilion instead of a conference room as before, I challenge them to think about what they are doing. Are they showing love and caring for all people who have sinned just as they have? Are they demostrating the forgiveness that God provided to all of us?
Finally. are they really, really boycotting Disney. Disney is a very large corporation. If you have time to track down everything that Disney is involved in to make sure you have no contact with them because of their position on homosexuals, you probably don't have time to read your Bible.
This is just my opinion... take it or leave it.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Mid Crisis of Life
I've thought for a while now that the term "mid-life crisis" was just a cop out for people to blame irresponsible, self indulgent behavior on. The man who hits his "crisis" leaves his family, runs off with the secretary, and buys a red sports car. The woman who falls in "love" with a man on the Internet, sets her kids on her mother's doorstep, and leaves without looking back. That's not a "mid life crisis". It's stupidity.
I do believe that there are crisis in life. Heck, I believe that life is a crisis. The fact that we have to be born and live here outside of whatever paradise you think exists, is enough to send someone over the edge of sanity. What I have come to understand more than anything though is that it's how you handle the crisis that matters.
So now, after all the pontificating that I have just done, you probably want to know if I have handled my mid crisis of life any better than the examples I've given above. I don't know for sure, but I think I have handled them better than I could have, but not a well as I should have.
I think my crucial crisis times began about six years ago and has continued to today, this very hour, this very minute. I sure didn't handle it like Mother Teresa, but I think I've handled it the best I've known how.
I think that I have grown...maybe matured more and maybe some people will attest to that. The sorrow with this is that I think I have lost some of the fun I used to have and I'm currently trying to figure out how to meld the two.
My eyes are wide open to the darkness in the world now. Darkness that surrounds all of us each day. I'm also keenly aware that this darkness can inhabit even the best and kindest of us. The sorrow here is that when the darkness does touch us, it leaves a mark on us we can't erase. The scary bit is that it has been in me more than I care to admit and the fact is I am more comfortable in the darkness sometimes than I am in the light.
But there is the light (at the end of the tunnel). I think I am seeing it more each day, at least I hope it's the light and not a train rushing head long into me. I'm doing more things for me while trying to do all the things for others as well. Others will still need me for a while, but there will be time for me alone, someday. Until then I will look at the each day as another mid crisis of life and attempt to solve it, the best way I can.
I do believe that there are crisis in life. Heck, I believe that life is a crisis. The fact that we have to be born and live here outside of whatever paradise you think exists, is enough to send someone over the edge of sanity. What I have come to understand more than anything though is that it's how you handle the crisis that matters.
So now, after all the pontificating that I have just done, you probably want to know if I have handled my mid crisis of life any better than the examples I've given above. I don't know for sure, but I think I have handled them better than I could have, but not a well as I should have.
I think my crucial crisis times began about six years ago and has continued to today, this very hour, this very minute. I sure didn't handle it like Mother Teresa, but I think I've handled it the best I've known how.
I think that I have grown...maybe matured more and maybe some people will attest to that. The sorrow with this is that I think I have lost some of the fun I used to have and I'm currently trying to figure out how to meld the two.
My eyes are wide open to the darkness in the world now. Darkness that surrounds all of us each day. I'm also keenly aware that this darkness can inhabit even the best and kindest of us. The sorrow here is that when the darkness does touch us, it leaves a mark on us we can't erase. The scary bit is that it has been in me more than I care to admit and the fact is I am more comfortable in the darkness sometimes than I am in the light.
But there is the light (at the end of the tunnel). I think I am seeing it more each day, at least I hope it's the light and not a train rushing head long into me. I'm doing more things for me while trying to do all the things for others as well. Others will still need me for a while, but there will be time for me alone, someday. Until then I will look at the each day as another mid crisis of life and attempt to solve it, the best way I can.
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